Greetings.
Pudge asked me to relay the following directly to you as Feeder:
“Heya. Henry does not want to write for me, but I insist. Henry does not just understand me; I am understanding him, too. Henry is worried, but I am very OK. Jorge is big, but I am growing. Jorge and I are friends, but we will be better friends when I am as big as he is. Pigs fight over food, but we are friends.”
I must confess that I feel somewhat underappreciated, as I’ve now spent several months in careful observation of Pudge’s vocalizations, attempting to parse his linguistic ramblings. Instead of appropriate gratitude, he suggested that I might spend more time “listening.” The outrage! As if listening is not a skill I excel at. I am deeply sorry that my translation attempts have been less than satisfactory. I will continue in my efforts, hopeful that you will accept my humble offerings, and that I may incrementally improve in the necessary task of rendering crude porcine grunts in the fullness of their intended detail, even if they lack the complexity necessary for sophisticated communication.
To demonstrate my commitment to this task, I will soon commence an extended translation effort with Jorge. As you know, he vocalizes with a unique tongue action that alters the nature of his intonation but does not in any way hamper his decibel range. Translation of his particular dialect will be a worthy effort as I continually seek to expand my linguistic capabilities.
With generosity of spirit and compassion for those less skilled than I, your servant,
Henry
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