A somber greeting.
As Pudge and I labor to organize the Party at the Patch Storytelling Extravaganza (PAPSE), it has come to my attention that all stories are not equally welcome in Feeder society. I am shocked, as Feeders are held out – at least by Feeder sources – to be paragons of justice.
Is it true that the stories of certain groups of Feeders get preference to other groups of Feeders? And that perhaps specific stories are not allowed to be told at all? For example, I have heard that the stories of certain Feeders called “Lewis and Clark” and “CM Russell” are spread about the land ad nauseum, while other stories with far more robust and relatable content are entirely silenced. (*Were they truly Feeders? See my note below.) While I have long suspected that non-human animals were superior to those animals identifying as humans, I did not expect to come upon such robust confirmation.
Mona the Pig, in her typically dry and understated manner, has brought it to my attention that Pudge and I, in our attempt to attract stellar talent to the PAPSE, might be perpetuating just such an unconscionable injustice by excluding all canines out of hand. Please let it be known that we have remedied our oversight and allowed dogs whose talents and cross-species language skills are sufficient to participate in our festival. We don’t anticipate any skilled entries, but out of a spirit of equity must allow for at least the possibility. A caveat: no harassers are allowed, including dogs who chase linguistically-skilled cats, dogs who chase guineas, dogs who chase chickens, or dogs who attempt to chase pigs but who are summarily butted out of the way.
The chickens have informed me that I might be developing a social conscience. The head hen declared that I was “behaving in a fashion out-of-character with the mediocre cat dude I assumed you to be.” I found her comments confusing, but took them to be laudatory in nature.
You have my sympathies as I learn ever more about the limitations of your species.
In hope for humanity,
Henry
*A note regarding Feeder-adjacent individuals:
Those of us who identify as non-human animals typically assume that all humanoid creatures are Feeders. It has recently come to my attention that some “Feeders” do not provide feeding services to anyone, not even themselves! Imagine my shock and dismay when I learned that some groups within Feeder society provide the bulk of the Feeding work…and at low or no wages and with little recognition. Again, I count myself fortunate to be of the feline persuasion.
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