Greetings.
Please disregard all previous expressions of dissatisfaction, as I have initiated a project of personal import, and wish to remain at the Patch in perpetuity. It is with satisfaction that I share the following notice, and ask that it be distributed through all available news outlets:
I, Henry the Cat, in collaboration with Pudge the Pig, do hereby announce the formation of an exploratory committee to investigate and subsequently organize the annual Party at the Patch Storytelling Extravaganza (PAPSE). Hosted by the non-profit arm of the Pig/Cat Research Center (PCRC, made up of Pudge and myself), the extravaganza will bring animal creatives together to narrate disparate life experiences and to form generative cross-species connections.[1]
Presenters will be selected via a juried process according to the following criteria:
· Content of story (cosmological significance; appropriate use of humor; accessibility by a diverse audience that includes, at a minimum, pigs and cats).
· Presentation of story (engaging delivery, ability to communicate across species, full-body investment in storytelling).
· Medium of story (the event organizers – Pudge and myself – will be on hand to provide limited translation services, but presenters must be capable of both comprehending and communicating across language barriers; all members of the canine species are thus hereby excluded).
Through copious observation, I have deduced that festivals such as ours take place largely during the extended daylight of the summer months, when “the living is easy,” or so I have been told. We will be looking to you to assist with organizational tasks that require opposable thumbs…like the provision of food and water and removal of waste.
PAPSE will be releasing a manifesto regarding non-human animal creativity at the conclusion of the event, yet another way in which the Patch Translation Project continues to provide benefits to the community at large.
In celebration,
Henry
P.S. I know that you fancy yourself proficient in various forms of storytelling, and expect that you will wish to participate in our extravaganza. Be aware, though, that unlike the Republican National Committee, PAPSE has a strict nepotism clause that prohibits the provision of stage time to anyone associated with the care and keeping of event organizers. As the Feeder of both Pudge and myself, I am sure you will understand the rationale for your exclusion.
[1] See my entry Henry the Philosopher (#9) regarding the Pig/Cat Research Center (PCRC).
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